How to be an Effective and Better Parent

Choosing to become a parent can always make one apprehensive. On the other hand, individuals and couples who may already have a child, may at times get stuck with issues like shifting parent- child relationships, difficulty understanding the physical, social and psychological changes of one’s child, difficulty in understanding their child’s behavior, teenage-related conflicts, so on and so forth.

In addition to this, parents sometime fail to adjust their marital system to accommodate the space and time for children. Some couples also feel that their privacy and lifestyle is affected after the birth of a child; identifying and understanding parenting roles; inadequate quality of time spent by working parents; meeting high expectations and demands from children; as well as financial impact of having children- these can all be pain points for parents.

These common issues occur as parents and couples ignore to identify one’s family’s needs and priorities, or perhaps they are unable to determine the family’s resources and capabilities for the change that is to ensue. In addition to this, couples also need to take into considering that during their child’s developmental process (i.e. Birth—Infant— Pre—School—School Age—Teenagers—Young Adults), every stage herein requires consistent training and skill to enhance one’s child’s development holistically and furthermore, requires adjustment from the parents side in terms of what is required from them as a parent.

Tips to be a more Efficient and Better Parent:

• Carve some free time for yourself: Mother & Father individually.
• Make a routine. Help your child set his own goals. Get him/her organized for school by giving them a planner to keep track of assignments and activities. Help your child find after-school programs and activities that interest them as well.
• Make clear rules and stick to them. Be clear and consistent when disciplining your child.
• Accept help from other family members or friends.
• Read to children and plan fun activities with them.
• Let your child help with simple chores.
• Support your child's language development by speaking to him/her in complete sentences and in “adult” language.
• Foster a wholesome attitude towards learning and healthy habits - like explaining your child about respecting others, and grounding them with morals and values.
• Keep your child relaxed and happy. Stay calm when your child is upset.
• Appreciate your child and try to relate to them. At the same time, do not draw comparisons with other children.
• Remain engaged in your child's education, and meet with teachers or counselors yearly.
• Help your child in their search for future career paths, and research colleges with them if you decide it's the right path for them.
• Although your child may want you to be less involved in their life, continue to help them with schoolwork, remain a resource for them and help them to stay organized and focused.

Pankhuri Pilania Counselling Psychologist Pankhuri is a Counselling Psychologist, and holds a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology and a Diploma in Guidance & Counselling. She has intensive experience in working with adults, adolescents and children with depression, anxiety disorders, eating disorders, ADHD, Social-Emotional difficulties, Learning difficulties, Academic Disorientation and Inter/Intrapersonal Conflicts.

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